Got it Memorized?
by The Writer Triumphant
Summary: Roxas wakes up in the hospital, the last five months a blank. He doesn't know why he’s suddenly living in another city, how he got the job of his dreams, and just who does this guy think he is, anyway? His boyfriend? Yeah, right... AkuRoku
1. White Carnations

Well, look at this. I'm back with another AkuRoku. This'll probably be a threeshot, a little _While You Were Sleeping_, a little _Chicken Soup for the Couple's Soul_ inspired. Don't ask me how I dunnit. Just kick back with a chocolate milkshake and enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** I have not been off fighting for my right to own Kingdom Hearts and its plot/characters. I have been changing diapers. Poo diapers.

_I was dreaming when I wrote this/ So sue me if I go too fast_

* * *

**Got it Memorized?**

* * *

"And can you tell me what year it is?" The angry little scowlpout on the petulant face of Naminé's patient darkened a fraction and he actually rolled his eyes in mild irritation before answering, "2003."

Naminé favored him with a gentle smile and made a note of that on her clipboard. So maybe Dr. Luna was wrong. "February 2003," the blond young man muttered, still looking around in confusion. Naminé's soft smile dampened. Okay. So the bastard was right.

"Short term memory loss," she said quietly, marking it down. Sighing, she focused her energies into a positive aura to meet Roxas's confused stare.

"What do you mean?" he asked suspiciously.

"Mr. Ars," she began gently. "You suffered a slight concussion and a number of fractured bones, all of which were very mild and healed rapidly. However, you've been in a coma for the past week and it seems that the blow to your head was the heaviest, resulting in short term memory loss."

Roxas blinked, opened his mouth, promptly closed it, and looked as though he wanted to either break into spontaneous laughter or puke. Naime grabbed the nearest bedpan in case of the latter.

"...Exactly how much did I lose?" he asked cautiously. "Somewhere around 5 months, by your answer," she replied, keeping her tone light. "You're very lucky. It's fairly easy to regain that much back from tactile senses and residual memory within the first two or three weeks after a coma lasting up to that long." Roxas exhaled, relaxing back into his pillow.

"Good. Thank Yevon. Can I see Dr. Hama now?" Naminé's smile faltered again. "... Perhaps I'm not the one who should be telling you this, Mr. Ars, but Dr. Hama is no longer your doctor." Again Roxas sat up, looking around the room. "Okay... then where's my brother? He should be here, right?"

Naminé tucked a strand of pale blond hair behind one ear, visibly distressed. "Look," she said finally, dropping her more formal nurse tone, "I think we should just wait until your brother _does_ get here. In the meantime, Dr. Luna will be here in a few minutes, and between you and me there's not much else he can tell you apart from what I have. I mean, in terms of your accident." Roxas nodded.

"Wait," he said, sitting bolt upright, "Dr. _Saïx_ Luna?" he asked. Too late, the door shut quietly behind the petite nurse whose footfalls were so quiet he couldn't tell which direction down the hall she'd gone off to.

* * *

Thankfully, Sora got there before the doctor. Roxas knew it was him before the door opened by the crash of something across the hall and the frantic but sincere "I'm so sorry!" cry echoing out. Sora was a mess of unkempt hair and wrinkled shirt and horrendously scuffed shoes as he entered.

"Roxas!" he shouted, half in excitement, half in the dulcet notes of an ashamed older brother, throwing his arms around the hospital gowned shoulders of his sibling. "I'm so sorry! I should have been here when you woke up!"

Roxas frownpouted and pushed him gently away. Sora easily took the hint. "I just talked to your nurse on my way in, and she said that you lost at least five month's worth of memories." His endearingly bright blue eyes welled up with tears. "I was so worried, I ran all the way up the stairs."

Roxas snorted. "I figured." Sora wrinkled his nose and crossed his arms. "Hey! I came up here to be with you in your time of need! Who else was supposed to tell you that you're now living in a completely different city and famous, even!"

Roxas reached for the bedpan. Sora laughed. "I'm serious!" Roxas ducked his head down. "Let me explain!" Sora said, pulling the pan away.

"Early March you came to spend a week with Hayner here in Twilight Town. By the end of the week you called me and said that you'd won a spot in the regional skateboard championship, so you were going to stay until the end of the month. I watched you on TV, and you placed first, Roxas. Organization XIII offered you a contract, and I told you to take it."

Slowly, Roxas breathed. "_That's _why Saïx Luna is my doctor, he's the doctor for all of Organization XIII's athletes." Sora grinned. "See? And you've been living here since then. I haven't been able to come visit you, but we talk on the phone at least two times a week, and I watch all your competitions at home."

Roxas exhaled and glared at the foot of his bed. "So that's all?" he asked. "But what about all the time between our talks? How am I supposed to know who I am now?"

"Well... you _have_ changed," Sora admitted. "I mean, did you ever think you would go off to live on your own so soon? You have your own place and everything, too. And just look at the stuff on the table. You've told me about some of these people, but it must be a shock to you to have more friends than just me and Hayner and Olette, huh?"

Startled, Roxas looked over. There were two small vases bearing yellow roses and lilies, and a small stack of cards. Seeing the wondrous expression on his face, Sora reached over and dropped the stack in his lap. "Sora..." Roxas said disbelievingly, reading the first one, "This is from _Demyx Nine_." Sora smiled. "I know. Apparently he's your new best friend. I'll show you the tabloids later."

"This one is from Organization XIII, and there's one from the president of my _fanclub_, and one from Cid Highwind, from Hayner and Olette, some guy named Pence, and another from Demyx..." he trailed off.

"I talked to him once," Sora recalled wistfully. "About a month ago. I was talking to you, and I guess he snatched the phone away from you because you were denying him his request to be introduced."

"I wish I could say that sounds like him," Roxas muttered, "But I wouldn't know." Sora smiled wryly. "I'm pretty sure he'll be coming to visit soon, and maybe he can help you. Hayner, too."

* * *

"And about how long will it take for me to regain my memories?"

"Anywhere from three weeks to a month, but I haven't concluded the extent of the damage yet. It may be that you'll never remember." Saïx explained coolly, without a trace of sympathy. Roxas figited. "Don't worry," Saïx said in an unconvincing tone of comfort, "As long as you can still skate and you are resolved to continue living on your own whatever, there should be no reason for you to panic. You lost less than a year, easy enough to adjust to."

Sora gaped. "B-but! Roxas is a pretty reserved person! Even if he has a few new friends, how are any of them going to help him come to terms with who he's supposed to be now?"

"Incidentally, you have visitors," Saïx went on, ignoring the rant. "Normally I wouldn't admit them in to see you, but your vitals are perfect and maybe you need to see them?" Roxas reached out and grabbed Sora's hand, something he'd only done twice before of his own volition after the age of three. "I guess that would be okay..."

Sora panicked. "Roxas, are you sure?"

"I know Hayner's probably here, and having you and him will make it less overwhelming. Yeah. I'm sure." Saïx dropped the clipboard he was holding back onto the tray at the foot of the hospital bed. "I'll have Naminé bring in a few more chairs, then," he said tonelessly, leaving the room. Considering that there were three other empty chairs in the room other than the one Sora occupied, Roxas wondered exactly how many visitors he'd agreed to.

"So where's Riku?" he asked to swallow the uneasiness, watching the door. Sora's face immediately flushed red. "He couldn't come with me, but he'll be here tomorrow, and we'll stay with you while you recover." Roxas grinned. "Did you two finally get together sometime in the five months that I don't remember?" Again Sora blushed. "No!" he exclaimed, "And don't you dare try to pull any cupid work when he comes! It'll happen... eventually..." Roxas sighed. "If you'd make a move, it would. Riku loves you, but he's too scared that he's reading your friendship the wrong way." Sora pouted.

* * *

"And this is Pence. We've been dating for about a month now," Olette explained.

Roxas just nodded, staring around at the other six people who were suddenly in the room. Along with Hayner, Olette and her new boyfriend, a slim, upbeatcheerful guy with a hairdo spawned from the eighties and an acid trip sat in a chair beside two guys Roxas knew were also signed to Organization XIII, a tall young woman dressed in black and wearing a slight frown, Naminé, and another young woman with short brown hair and goddess shoulders who he thought he'd seen in a magazine before.

"How are you feeling, man?" Hayner asked cautiously. Roxas could tell that his friend was matching Sora's ashamedness of not being there with his own brand of anger. "A little shocked..." Roxas confessed. "But I think I'll be okay."

"Don't worry, buddy!" the guy with the faux Mohawk/mullet said suddenly. "We're going to help you remember everything." Roxas looked around at the sincere faces of the new people in his life and loosened his grip on the sheets. He believed it.

And then the door burst open and his friends were pushed aside by a lanky figure with the reddest hair Roxas had ever seen. The flowers the man carried were tossed onto the bed and he Roxas seized gently, his too green eyes prying deep into him before stealing the first kiss Roxas could now remember.

* * *

"Who the hell do you think you _are_?!"

Roxas was vaguely aware that Sora was pushing at the intruder as the rest of the room – save Demyx – looked on with expressions of utter surprise. "You must be Sora," the man said, not in the least affected by Sora's fists raining down on his chest. "Nice to meet you, finally."

"I asked you who the hell do you think you _are_!" Sora yelled again, obviously annoyed that the molestor wasn't fighting back.

Roxas seemed to be watching the scene from outside himself, still in shock but with growing anger and outright confusion. "Name's Axel. Commit it to memory, kid," the man replied, catching both Sora's wrists and shoving him with care back into his seat. "I'm Roxas's boyfriend."

The last word snapped Roxas back. "I don't have a boyfriend, you pervert!" he blurted. Axel's face fell, but he quickly recovered. "Come on, Roxas, this isn't funny, beloved..." Roxas visibly tensed, and he grabbed the nearest blunt object – an empty pitcher of water – and hurled it. Axel ducked. Roxas reached for something else.

"Wait!" Sora cried, restraining his younger brother. "Calm down." Slowly, he turned to Axel. "Look, maybe you rushed up here too fast, without thinking to ask anyone what happened. Roxas... if you are his boyfriend, he doesn't remember you."

Naminé suddenly jumped out of her chair and escorted the two other skaters and the two women out of the room. "That's... that's got to be a joke, right?" Axel finally said. "I'm sorry," Sora retorted, "But it's not. Roxas had an accident, and he's been in and out of a coma for the past week. He woke up this morning and it looks like he doesn't even remember coming to live in Twilight Town."

Roxas was staring at the bouquet of scattered flowers on his bed. White carnations. "Let me talk to him," Axel insisted. "I know he couldn't have..." Sora shook his head. "He's forgotten you, and this wasn't exactly the best reintroduction. You'd better leave." Axel made to move past Sora, but it was Demyx who pulled him back. "Give him a few days, Axel," he begged. "Sora knows what's best for him." Reluctantly, Axel let himself be dragged out.

* * *

"Sora..." Roxas murmured when everyone else had gone. "Ask him why he brought me white carnations, would you?"


	2. Chapter 2

Well, look at this. I'm back with another AkuRoku. This'll probably be a threeshot, a little _While You Were Sleeping_, a little _Chicken Soup for the Couple's Soul_ inspired. Don't ask me how I dunnit. Just kick back with a chocolate milkshake and enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** I have not been off fighting for my right to own Kingdom Hearts and its plot/characters. I have been changing diapers. Poo diapers.

_I was dreaming when I wrote this/ So sue me if I go too fast_

* * *

**Notes:** I am no doctor or even a student in the field of medicine or at all remotely smart about comas and stuff. So I'm really just BSing for the purposes of let's-not-make-it-that-serious-of-an-injury plot plot, k? It's probably _impossible _to 'slip in and out' of a coma. What do I know?

For more insight on the previous chapter and every one to come, check out my LiveJournal. The link is on my profile under **homepage**, and every entry related to review feedback and extra stuff for this fic will be public.

* * *

"That's easy. Those were the flowers Art brought Jenny when she was in the hospital."

Sora blinked. "Art and Jenny? _Only Sunsets_ Art and Jenny?" he asked.

"It's Roxas's favorite movie," Axel shrugged. "We watched it together every Sunday night since we started seeing each other... but I guess he doesn't remember that now."

Sora felt a rush of sympathy. "According to Dr. Luna, the damage wasn't too heavy, so I'm sure that something soon will trigger everything back." He fidgeted. "Look... Roxas told me to ask you about the flowers, and he said if you didn't have a stupid answer he'd want to see you again. He's fine, really, but it's bothering him that he doesn't know how much he's changed in five months. If you were to visit him some more, and talk to him, it would help. And maybe he'd remember you again."

Axel's face was unreadable, and for a moment Sora worried that he was asking too much. Then the man grinned and reached out to pull him into a grateful embrace.

"I'm glad I finally met you, Sora. Though I would have preferred better circumstances."

Sora actually laughed as he pulled away. "Yeah... likewise." He chanced a glance back down the hall before speaking again. "Riku's coming from the islands tomorrow, and we're going to stay with Roxas for a few days until he gets settled back into his apartment. You're welcome to come whenever you have time."

Axel grinned. "Actually, I think it would be better if I went with you when you take him back there. He probably set the alarm before he left that day, and I don't know who else besides me knows the code, now."

Sora paled slightly. "Axel... how long have you been seeing my brother?"

"It would have been three months last week."

"Did you..." Sora found himself struggling for words as a thousand unwanted images filtered across his stream of thought.

"Sora," Axel said reassuringly, cutting off the mental bombardment, "It took me two weeks to kiss him. And I've never done more than he encouraged me beyond that, I swear."

Sora considered him for a moment, finally exhaling the tense breath he'd been holding and laughed a little nervously.

"Two _weeks_?"

"I'll tell you about it later, I promise. I have to get back to work, but Naminé has my number. Call me before you take Roxas home."

Sora watched as he walked out the doors, catching the eye of a pretty nurse or two, disappearing into the back of a limo.

* * *

"So in the five months that I've been gone, you still haven't had the guts to make a move on my brother?"

Sora had left the hospital room for a last meeting with Dr. Luna, full of questions about what he should do if Roxas started having headaches or if his sleeping pattern was off.

"I mean, I know when we were kids I used to get mad when you stole time with him away from me, but now..." Roxas smirked as he tied his shoes, glancing sidelong at his brother's would be boyfriend. Riku muttered something incoherent and made to grab Roxas's bags.

"Riku. I know you're in love with my brother. The whole island does. And you didn't come here to help me, even if we are friends. You came because he asked you to. And he asked you to because he loves you, too. And he needs you."

"It's not that simple," Riku said finally.

"Maybe it is."

"Maybe you don't get it."

"What's not to get?"

"Look... you're younger than both of us. By two years, at least. I know it's not that much, but before you learned how to swim Sora and I spent almost every afternoon on the beach, and eventually away from the main island on our on little island."

"You haven't been there in _ages_, Riku." Roxas countered. "If there's a point to this, get to it, already."

"That _is_ the point! It's why we stopped going there..."

Roxas had never seen him like this, but he had the weirdest feeling that this wasn't the first time Riku tried to tell him. It could have been another thing he'd forgotten. But just as he was about to ask, Sora reentered, completely oblivious to what he'd just interrupted.

"Alright. Axel said he'd meet us there in about fifteen minutes, which gives us just enough time to get there," he announced, steering Roxas toward the door.

"Wait! Why is he meeting us there?"

"I told you already, he thinks you may have set your alarm before you left that day, and he's the only one who knows the code now."

"So why didn't you just ask him for it?!"

Riku grinned, obviously relieved that it was Roxas's turn to be flustered. "I thought you agreed to see him?" he asked lightly. Sora threw him a grateful smile.

"Not the minute I got out of here!"

"So I guess skating for Organization XIII pays well," Roxas murmured, staring at his modest penthouse. From the outside it was rust brick with a narrow stoop, double doors and two stories of windows. It looked very much like the other penthouses on that street, each of them a slightly different shade of red but all very neat and new looking.

"Axel's late," Riku added, earning him an elbow in the ribs from Sora.

"Traffic in the city is a lot heavier than on the islands, Riku. It's enough of an excuse."

To stall for time, Roxas shifted through the ring of keys returned to him that morning. The biggest he supposed went to the front door, but there was one that apparently belonged to an Oathkeeper, one that looked like a copied key, and two smaller ones. Seeing the mailbox affixed under his doorbell, he made the guess that only the mailman carried another small matching key. The first one he tried turned out to be the one, and inside the box was a small stack of letters and two magazines. Everything was addressed to him.

"Your paycheck will probably be in there," Came a voice at the bottom of the stairs. Axel had arrived as promised.

Roxas shut the box, clutching the mail to his chest. At the very least, they were evidence of his new life and identity.

"You going to open the door, or stare at my tie for the next half hour?" Axel asked, amused.

Inwardly, Roxas groaned. It was a nice tie, sage green and knotted immaculately, but something about it bothered him. "Whatever," he muttered, noting Sora and Riku's smirks. Assuming again that the largest key was to the front door, he deftly unlocked it, unusually satisfied when an alarm went off, piercing the air. He barely got a look around as he ducked in after Axel before he was steered to face the wall before the hall table. Axel pulled at a shadow box to reveal a code panel and deliberately punched in four digits.

"1-3-0-8," he said when the ringing stopped. Got it memorized?"

Roxas dearly wished he could kick him in the shin for the jibe, but controlled himself and nodded.

"If you forget, it'll turn off after a full minute and you'll get a phone call. The security company will ask you for the password. Tell them _sunsets_, and it'll clear from the police lines."

Roxas set the mail down on the hall table, thinking he'd have Sora help him go through it later. It was a relatively small place, but it was obvious that it was clean and furnished nicely. outside of the short hallway was a living room with a big screen television and at least three gaming consoles crammed under it. The coffee table was strewn with a few familiar titles, as well as some that were obviously new. _Only Sunsets_ rested on the couch arm.

Sora walked past him into the kitchenette.

"So... wait," he said, examining the stocked pantry and the neat row of pots and pans hanging over the stove, "You cook now?"

Roxas shrugged, then turned to Axel reluctantly. "Do I?"

Axel grinned. "You pour cereal, Roxas. I do the _real_ cooking."

Roxas squirmed.

"What are Roxas's favorite foods?" Riku interrupted. The question was followed by a tense silence.

"Pasta," Axel replied easily. "Especially with chicken. Fresh tomato in the sauce if he wants it red, on the side if it's white. Cheese pizza, sea salt ice cream, waffles with blueberry syrup. Black coffee with a drop of honey and hazelnut creamer..." he trailed off.

Roxas opened the pantry door in order to avoid staring. The middle shelf was crammed with different shaped pasta. Sora poked him in the ribs.

"Maybe it would be a good idea if Axel cooked for you soon, Roxas. Get some memory back through taste?" he suggested.

Roxas peeked over his shoulder at the taller man, eyes drawn instantly to the tie again. "Do you think...?"

"I'm sort of hoping it's not that simple," Axel cut in. "I'd be hurt if you were only with me because of my cooking."

"Roxas's stomach isn't bigger than his heart," Riku interjected.

"I know that," Axel said softly. "I have to go to a meeting right now, but I'll come cook for you on Monday."

* * *

"You don't have to accept that he's making an effort, Roxas."

"I kind of feel bad for him, though, Riku..."

Roxas sighed. "Look, I don't know what to think, but he hasn't given me any reason to dislike him yet. So it's okay if he wants to try. I just... don't know if I can be that Roxas again."

"His Roxas, you mean?" Sora prodded. "I talked to him for a little while on the phone this morning, and well... you saw it. He seems to know you just as well as I do."

"You can't have changed all that much in five months if you still list sea salt ice cream as your favorite and watch Only Sunsets every weekend, Roxas," Riku added. "Even in these interviews – " he held up a magazine they'd found stashed under the phonebook " – you sound exactly like yourself. Listen to this: 'Monochrome: If you weren't skating pro, where would you be right now? Ars: Probably back home on Destiny Islands, with my brother and our best friend, goofing off on the beach.' This was right after you got signed."

Roxas snatched the magazine out of Riku's hand and pursued the article. "How long did Axel say we'd been together?" he asked Sora.

"About three months."

Roxas frowned. "Do you think I would have mentioned him in another interview, or something?"

Sora shrugged. "I don't think so, Roxas. I do remember you telling me that you'd met someone, but I didn't ask for details because I know you don't like personal questions. But I think that being new to the pro circuit you would have wanted to keep it below the radar for a while. Axel, too."

"Why would Axel...?"

"You haven't asked him what he does, have you?" Riku cut in, reclaiming the magazine. "He manages Demyx, and to a lesser extent, he chairs Heartless Records."

* * *

Demyx himself stopped by the next day, completely comfortable with the fact that his best friend didn't remember him anymore.

"I got invited to the first competition you were in after being signed. You placed first, and I invited you to a dinner party," he explained. "After that I went to all of your competitions, and you came to one of my concerts."

"Did I meet Axel through you?"

Demyx laughed. "Uh... sort of."

Roxas frowned.

"You'll have to ask him. It's a great story. In fact, I think only me, Yuna and Naminé know. Axel pretty much made us promise not to go telling the media."

"Now _I_ want to know," Riku said from the kitchenette, where he was digging through the freezer for sea salt ice cream.

"Ask Axel," Demyx insisted.

He couldn't stay long ("I have a songwriting session to get to, but call me tomorrow after you see Axel.") but by the time he'd left, Roxas had a bowl of his favorite ice cream and was wondering if he could bully Sora into watching _Only Sunsets_ with him. But since Riku was there, he settled for watching them play _Keyblade Hero II: Tourney of Worlds_ against each other. When he'd eaten two more bowls of ice cream and they decided to break in an unopened _Goddess of Fate Championship Smackdown_, he wandered down the hall to his room.

Surprisingly, it was a lot like his room back home, down to the rice paper lamp and the mess of papers over the computer keyboard. He'd examined them the day before. Most of them were phone numbers of people he didn't remember or scribbling of equations alongside rough diagrams of a stick figure soaring over a half pipe. The computer was his from back home, though the harddrive looked upgraded, and there was a new set of speakers. The password had been changed. Normally it was 61327X, a series of numbers and a letter that only meant anything to him, but he wondered if another number or letter had worked its way in lately.

"I'll figure it out tomorrow," he muttered, climbing into bed. It was bigger than his back home, but just as soft from his downy comforter. In the fabric he smelled a scent that was unfamiliar to him, a slight musk laced with a spice. The night before it had kept him up, but tonight he was sure that it was a cologne, and that thought didn't make sleep any easier. He wasn't the type to wear it.

* * *

Sora shook him awake, but it was the clutter of cooking noises coming from the kitchen that got him to open his eyes.

"He meant breakfast?"

Sora smiled. "How did you know it was Axel?"

Roxas grunted.

"He claims he's making your favorite Monday morning special, the same thing he makes you every Monday."

"It better be waffles," Roxas said finally, throwing the comforter aside in an irritated sort of way. After the initial shock, the scent had lulled him to sleep easily, and he almost hated to be torn from it. But there were probably waffles waiting.

Riku and Sora settled on the couch with their breakfast; cereal, toast, and coffee. Axel wasn't in a suit, and when Roxas came in he handed him a mug.

"Sorry for waking you up, but part of the special breakfast experience is pulling you out of bed at an ungodly hour for my own selfish reasons of wanting to see you before I disappear to work for the entire day."

Roxas grunted and took a sip. It was hot, but it was exactly as he liked it. And there were waffles.

"Axel..." he managed when he'd devoured one, "Why does my bed smell like you?" he asked bluntly, knowing he wouldn't like the answer.

"I sleep here on Sunday nights," Axel confessed. "Sometimes during the week if I can get away from work."

"Did... did we... when you...?" Roxas stumbled over the question.

"We came close," Axel admitted, scraping the waffle iron clean. "Just once, though. Before I had to go with Demyx to that concert in Land of Dragons, about three weeks ago."

Roxas stared at his breakfast.

"That... that wasn't the first thing I wanted to ask you about, actually... but the smell on my blankets was kinda distracting," he said at last.

"What was the first thing you wanted to ask me?" Axel took a seat opposite him, fixing his coffee exactly as he'd fixed Roxas's.

"I wanted to ask how we met." The waffles were good, he had to admit to himself, cutting up another and avoiding Axel's eyes.

"Well, that's an interesting story..." Axel began.

* * *

_Don't' ask me why I decided to let one of Reno's friends tale the job of being my driver. He's my brother. What was I supposed to do? Anyway, this guy is too cautious. I yell at him from the back seat of the small limo to not take his time. Demyx isn't with me so he can be a little less scared of getting back to my place. I have roughly an hour to prepare for a meeting with the CEO about Demyx's first single._

_The kid had talent. In fact, the bridge to the song had been running through my head all day and I wasn't sick of it at all. There was a line that went, _And what kind of justice is there/ if I don't have a heart to give away?_ that was something special. _

_Just as I was thinking I'd have a drink and have another go at my driver, he turned onto Station Ave., and I prepared myself for the little drop. This part of town was almost like constantly going up and down ramps. I felt the brakes slip and a second later something hit the side of the limo and the driver swerved to a stop._

_Up until that point it had been a good day._

_Then someone wrenched the door open. A very short, blonde and irritable someone, brandishing a skateboard at me._

"_You jerk! Tell your driver to take it easy coming down the hill!" he hollered. "You just mauled my new board!"_

_The board was pretty worse for wear, one of the wheels almost pushed clean off the socket, and a pressured split almost cutting it in half lengthwise._

_Not having the patience for a kid, I pulled out a checkbook._

"_Seeing as you're not injured and therefore not in need of medical assistance, I'll just write you a check and you can buy yourself a new board, okay?" I said, writing out an amount that not quite doubled what he would need. There was something to be done about calming him down enough to ignore a lawsuit, after all._

"_Oh, no," he retorted, ripping my checkbook away and thrusting the skateboard at me, settling into the seat beside me. "You're taking me to the shop down the street and buying me whatever I want."_

_I had to admire the kid for his guts, though it looked as though he was shaking from nerves and after panic as much as anger._

"_Down the street?" I repeated._

"_Right now, before I decide to press charges. Hit and run and all that."_

_I laughed._

"_Fine, kid. I'll buy you a new board. Whatever you want. Customized, if it'll shut you up."_

_He seemed to simmer down at that and kicked the driver's seat. "Cid's Item Shop," he commanded. "It's just down the street on your left after two lights."

* * *

_

"I only figured out the next day that you were actually that new kid Organization XIII just signed. Demyx brought you to the dinner party after you placed first that first competition – on the board I bought you – and introduced us."

Roxas grinned wryly at his empty plate. "Did you say anything?"

"Not a word."

"What about me?"

Axel gathered the dishes and put them in the sink, running warm water over them to rinse away the syrup.

"I think were both preferred to keep it a shared secret from the start."

* * *

**notes:** This will officially be updated every two weeks.


	3. Chapter 3

Well, look at this. I'm back with another AkuRoku. This'll probably be a threeshot, a little _While You Were Sleeping_, a little _Chicken Soup for the Couple's Soul_ inspired. Don't ask me how I dunnit. Just kick back with a chocolate milkshake and enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** I have not been off fighting for my right to own Kingdom Hearts and its plot/characters. I have been changing diapers. Poo diapers.

_I was dreaming when I wrote this/ So sue me if I go too fast_

* * *

**Notes:** If every chapter is longer than the last... (you choose how to end this question. I may answer.)

Probably not going to be 3 chapters, in case you were thinking of being a smartass at the end of this chapter when it doesn't conclude. I want to say no more than 5. The good thing is that right now I'm really excited about writing this story. If I had a whole ton of other ideas bugging me all day they would start to pile up.

Also, watch my LJ for extra stuff. Sometimes even whole scenes in advance.

I have never been on a skateboard. Ok. I tried an Ollie once, but I fell on my butt almost immediately.

For this chapter: sections in _italics_ are flashbacks, but Roxas doesn't remember them yet.

* * *

_"I think I have a tie fetish."_

_Demyx snorted and nearly chocked on his drink laughing. Figures. I know the guy for all of two hours and he probably wasn't expecting that to be the answer to "Why are you staring at my manager?"_

_"That's weird. But adorable. Axel, why didn't you tell me he was so adorable?"_

_I busied myself with my salad. Oh, this was going to be good._

_"Didn't I?" Axel answered smoothly. "Or was I too busy ranting about how he weaseled five hundred munny out of me?" I chanced a look up. He was smirking. Boldly, I mirrored it. Apparently Demyx had to endure a whole week of Axel talking about me, and then Demyx was so saturated with skateboard talk that he accepted an invitation to the Regional Vert Championship out of general curiosity. What neither of them knew was that I would actually be competing – my first gig for Organization XIII – and ultimately winning. On the board Axel bought me._

_"Oh, this is great," Demyx said, after introducing himself. "You've got to join us and Yuna for dinner." I had no idea how to turn that down. Thankfully, Axel wasn't making a huge deal out of being practically conned into buying me a new board when I could have got one free. He nearly ran me over. I figured he owed me._

_"You're pretty young to be pro, aren't you?" is what he asked instead._

_"I'll be 20 this year!" I retorted, secretly glad when he leaned back with a smug grin on his face. Apparently my little irritated outbursts amused him._

_Demyx looked from one to the other of us and smiled his own smile._

_"Hey, Roxas, you should come to my concert next week," he said. "I'll have Axel come pick you up, and afterward, you can come to Space Paranoids with us." Again, I had no idea how to turn that down._

_"Hey," Demyx whispered later, tugging on my arm as I climbed out of his limo, "I think Axel's got a feisty blonde fetish." He punctuated it with a wink and I nearly tripped over the sidewalk. I felt like flipping him off, but we'd just met. And anyway, I was getting into his concert and the best arcade bar in town on his invite._

_I flipped him off anyway._

_Demyx laughed._

_I was pretty sure he was going to be my best friend.

* * *

_

"Axel left?"

"Yeah."

"He made you waffles, Roxas." Sora smiled that I-know-something-you-don't-know smile and cradled a cup of coffee as he took a seat across from Roxas, where Axel had been some minutes before.

"Apparently he does every Monday morning."

"Lucky you."

Roxas pushed his now empty plate forward and reached for his coffee. "Sora... why did you and Riku stop going to the island?" he asked carefully. He could tell immediately that Riku hadn't exaggerated the seriousness of that particular event in their lives. That turning point for him and Sora. There was something almost frightening in the way Sora's hands tightened around the hot cup of coffee and he said all too calmly, "That was about six years ago." He didn't say it as though he was being nostalgic, and he didn't seem to be trying to steer the conversation away from the question. The exchange just died.

Roxas let it.

* * *

"You shouldn't be skating for another two weeks. We want to make sure that any internal damage to your skull isn't permanent."

Roxas frowned slightly, but his failure of balance tests were more than enough reason to listen. If he so much as managed an Ollie he'd fall on his face and maybe throw up. Riding a half pipe? Out of the question. He'd break an arm and a leg.

"Now, tell me how you've been adjusting."

"Fine, I guess. I mean... for the past few days I've been waking up feeling weird because my bed isn't in the same position I remember it, and looking around my apartment feels weird. But I've been talking to Demyx and Yuna, and I'm accepting everything. I just can't recall vivid memories of the past five months, just vague things. Like yesterday I remembered where I'd put this jacket. I must have worn it before the accident. I remember it was a gift from Demyx. I didn't know I had it, but today when I came over here, I knew I wanted to wear a jacket and the image sort of slid across my mind and I knew this specific one was in the back of the hall closet. There are other things, smaller, though. Like smelling flowers from the corner deli and remembering standing there right after I moved into the neighborhood and was dialing Sora's number to make sure he'd mailed over my computer." Roxas shrugged.

"It's a start... Have you given any thought to what you want to do once I deem you healthy enough to return to return to work?"

Roxas tugged at the zipper of the jacket. "I'm going to stay here. It seems like a waste to start my own life and then force myself to retrace my steps because I can only remember half of how I managed to do it. Besides, skating pro was always my dream. Now I have it. It's going to be a slow process, remembering how I did things, even when I was just starting to get the hang of it, but I'll manage."

Dr. Luna dropped his pen into his breast pocket and set the clipboard with Roxas's file attached on the counter.

"I've arranged for you to talk to a therapist about any stress, depression, etc., you may be dealing with in light of your memory loss. Her name is Areith, and you're only required to meet with her once, for an hour session. However, you're welcome to keep seeing her beyond that if you feel like it, and especially if she consults with me and deems it necessary."

Roxas seemed to want to protest, but held back. Instead, he asked, "When?"

"Tomorrow afternoon. I'll have Naminé give you your regular physical right now and then you are free to go."

As soon as he left the room Roxas fell back onto the cushioned bench with an aggravated sigh. He was annoyed that being under contract with Organization XIII's health insurance policies meant that Saïx could pretty much dictate what was best for him. The therapist sounded like a bit much, but as he stared at the ceiling he grudgingly admitted to himself that it would probably help him with the biggest problem he was facing: being unable to remember Axel.

The smell on his blanket hadn't gone away, even though Axel himself had been kind enough to take it to a cleaner's to have it "purged", as he'd put it. Roxas was beginning to think his nose was _used_ to the smell and was making his brain think it was still there even if it _wasn't_. Other than that, there were no other traces of Axel in the apartment aside from the pantry stocked with food he claimed to cook on a weekly basis. But there were points of the day – even if he was with Sora and Riku or even being visited by Demyx, Pence, or Yuna – when he felt as though he should be with Axel, just the two of them. He felt it, but try as he might he couldn't bring forth from memory specific details.

"Did I ever tell him that I loved him?" he mused to himself, a split second before Naminé entered, rifling through his file as though it were a well-memorized text. He learned the day before that he'd dislocated a shoulder and had a few scrapes in practice, but nothing fatal.

"I'm just going to check your blood pressure, your iron level, and some other minor things, Roxas." She smiled sweetly at him, and it occurred to him suddenly that she seemed to know him, outside of being his nurse.

"I'm sort of Demyx's cousin," she admitted when he prodded. "You and I met for the second time – the first was here at the hospital when you got your first physical – at the first concert he invited you to."

* * *

_I wasn't used to being picked up by a limo and chauffeured to huge concerts. And this was a Demyx Nine concert. His first concert. Axel was talking on the phone when the limo pulled up, and he immediately told whoever it was on the other line to "Just let me get back to on that, Larxene. Goddamn – " before ending the call. He was wearing a tie again, and I hated that I found myself staring at it as soon as I was comfortable enough in my seat._

_"Demyx wouldn't shut up about you coming tonight," Axel commented mildly._

_"I hope you told him to not let it spill that you nearly ran me over," I answered._

_Axel grinned. "Believe me, I did. I think he's holding it over as blackmail material."_

_I thought Demyx seemed too nice for that tactic, but I'd already proven that you could get anything out of Axel._

_"He's been trying to get me to introduce him to Zexion Shade for two months now," Axel continued._

_"Oh?" I prompted._

_"Piano player. He does some into work for a few other talents I manage: Auron's Sin, Paine, and last year he toured with Ragnarock."_

_"Does Demyx like him?"_

_Axel smirked. "Is that good news or bad news for you?" he asked._

_I felt my face burn. "I'm not interested in him."_

_He gave no indication that he was sorry for having embarrassed me, but continued on as though he hadn't refuted my question with his own. "I'm pretty sure that he does like Zexion. What's more, I know for a fact that Zexion adores Demyx." He laughed at the startled expression on my face._

_"That's why I'm going to give Zexion a chance tonight." He leaned over and put a hand on my shoulder. It felt numb all at once and I had to focus my eyes away from his tie to hear his next question: "You up for a game of cupid?"_

_***_

_My front row seat at the concert was between Yuna, Demyx's supermodel friend, and Naminé, his distantly related cousin and my nurse under Dr. Luna._

_"Small world, isn't it?" she said when Axel introduced us. "I'm his nurse," she explained at his curious expression. When he disappeared backstage for the remainder of the show, she asked me how I got invited._

_"Demyx came to my competition last week," I replied with a shrug._

_"Oh!" she said, giggling. "I should have known it was you he was talking about. He said that you were blond, slightly temperamental, and very athletic."_

_"Temperamental?"_

_She smiled. "Don't argue. When I conducted your physical last month you wouldn't let me in the same room as you if I had a needle in my hand, and you argued over your medical contract until Dr. Luna practically wanted to kill you."_

_I frowned._

_"Demyx also told me something else about you…" she began._

_I felt a flash of numbness at her tone. "What?" I asked, trying to sound nonchalant, though I had the speaking suspicion that I knew what._

_"He said that Axel's developed an interest of sorts in you."_

_***_

_When Demyx sang "being near you starts earthquakes down my spine", I was pretty sure I knew what he meant. There was no denying that I was strangely attracted to Axel all at once. It wasn't' new - being attracted to another guy. But this time I had almost no control over my reactions to anything to do with him. I was sure Naminé had it figured out, and Demyx probably had my name on the blackmail list, having witnessed how I spent half the time staring at his tie._

_Backstage I assured him that he'd done great, shook hands with everyone he pushed me at, and eventually ended up being herded back to the limo._

_"Please tell me no one knows we're going to Space Paranoids," Demyx moaned as soon as he had exhausted himself waving at fans and was almost jumped on by three different females. He was still smiling, but I could tell that it was draining him._

_"I already talked to the owner of the place. No one on the reservation list is getting in, and I made sure ours was kept secret," Axel said. "Yuna and Paine are meeting us there, though."_

_Knowing that Yuna was going to be there seemed to placate Demyx for the rest of the ride. I learned from Naminé that she and Demyx had been friends since high school and had supported each other's modeling and music careers to the extent that they credited each other at every opportunity._

_As soon as we pulled up Demyx put on his crowd pleasing expression and stepped out, throwing me a wink over his shoulder. Sure, no reporters were allowed in, and no one knew that Axel had secured a place for after the concert, but a few desperate photographers had followed and ran up the entranceway on the other side of the boundary rope and snapped a dozen shots a second._

_"Roxas is underage," Demyx said once we sat down at one of the enclosed bars. "No strong stuff for you."_

_"I wouldn't take it if age permitted," I argued. "I sort of need my muscles and reflexes, thanks. Pro skateboarder?"_

_Demyx laughed. "Oh, right."_

_"There's some decent non alcoholic stuff," Axel added in._

_We'd just gotten our drinks – something weak for Demyx because Axel announced that he didn't need ot be walking around the arcade shitfaced or seen exiting, for that matter – when Axel put his hand on my shoulder again, leaning slightly toward me._

_"There's Zexion," he said quietly, eyes flickering to the right. I flashed my gaze subtley and noted a guy about Demyx's height but with none of his brightness in his expression. He seemed bemused by everything going on around him and barely raised his chin as he approached, most of his face hidden under slated fringe. _

_"Zexion," Axel said a little louder, ignoring the shock that seemed to bloom from Demyx's face at the name. "I thought I might see you here."_

_I wanted to laugh. It seemed so transparent. Zexion looked like he'd be more comfortable sitting in a very quiet bistro on the edge of the city, not in the middle of it, thrown into one stark contrast after another from all the lights from the bar and the arcade. _

_Regardless, Demyx bought it. Or he was too busy just staring. I quickly averted my gaze to my lap, hoping to Yevon that my instant attraction to Axel wasn't as obvious._

_"Roxas, I'm going to have another drink. Why don't you go on with Dem and Zex to the arcade?" Axel suggested. I gave him a slightly irritated look but followed behind the two of them, amused at their general awkwardness. I guess the plan was to make sure that Zexion took the chance being offered here and that Demyx didn't scare the poor guy off. The arcade was full of people – we spotted Yuna at Melody Master, challenging a girl with her sunny blonde hair up in a nest of braids – but it was something towrd the emptier section that gave me an idea. A keyboard had been set up by the karaoke machine, and for the moment, it wasn't being utilized._

_"Hey," I ventured, "I think you guys would make beautiful music together."_

_I wasn't wrong in guessing that Demyx would sing again, but only if it was for Zexion. Once two girls ahead of us and a drunken guy's rendition of "Highwind", Demyx took the microphone, disconnected it from the karaoke prompter, and asked Zexion if he'd be willing to accompany him with the keyboard._

_***_

_"Mission accomplished," Axel grinned._

_"You didn't do anything!" I protested. "Actually, I hardly did. I think... it's hard to keep two people who care about each other from being together."_

_"That's deep."_

_I gave him a shove._

_"I think Zexion will be taking him home. I've got to prepare for the post concert press and interviews. Do you want to hang around, or should I take you back home, too?" _

_I didn't have to be anywhere early the next day, and I hadn't been around the whole arcade, but I asked to go home without thinking about those details._

_We were almost to the modest penthouse I'd just moved into when Axel lightly touched my arm. "Do you like Italian food?" he asked as we rounded a corner onto Sunset Plaza._

_"Yeah, I do."_

_"I should cook for you," he continued without preamble. _

_"Pasta?" I joked, knowing that he was possibly a little drunk._

_"Sure. Next weekend?"_

_I reached out and tugged on his tie. "Yeah."

* * *

_

"So, Roxas, tell me how you've been adjusting."

Areith looked more like a kindergarten teacher than a therapist, but Roxas thought that that was a good thing. It made him feel slightly less intimidated.

"Well, my brother's staying with me, so it helps. But there are still points in the day where I have to let my mind catch up with everything. I only lost five months, and everyone seems to think that just telling me how those months were will fix it. Like as soon as I know I can just pick up where I left off."

The rest of the session went fairly well, with Roxas talking about how it seemed that from what everyone was telling him, he'd hardly changed. He admitted how strange it was to know that he'd actually made the decision to accept a career and stay in Twilight Town when he'd never lived apart from Sora before.

When the hour was up, Areith closed her little notebook and handed him a note to give to Dr. Luna confirming that he'd completed his requirement.

"You're under no obligation to come back and see me, Roxas," she said. "I don't think you'll have too much trouble adjusting. Just remember to talk to your friends and your family if you feel like you're being pressured to remember. Be willing to admit your fear of not being able to be the Roxas from before the accident and be willing to accept anything new that might come out of discovering exactly who that is."

More than anything, Roxas wished he could get on a board and skate around a park until dinner time. He hadn't seen Axel for most of the week, but he'd been by earlier that afternoon to cook pasta for them to eat when Roxas got back from his session.

Sora and Riku, not surprisingly, had already eaten when he got back. Axel was waiting for him at the table, a plate of penne and tomato sauce set out. It was good, and halfway through, Roxas could close his eyes and remember at least one other time when Axel made it. There was nothing specific about the memory other than the taste of tomato and remembering that the window had been open.

"Did you ever tell me you loved me?" he asked suddenly, addressing his plate more than Axel.

"About five times a day when I could get away with it," Axel confessed. "It annoyed you a little. Or at least, you pretended it did. Especially if I said it without warning. The best time to say it was usually just before you fell asleep."

Roxas started to imagine it, then felt warm and stopped.

"Did I ever say it back?" he asked after a long moment. Axel smiled as though he knew that would be the next question. "Once," he said without hesitation. "Right before I left to Demyx's Land of Dragons and Atlantica concerts. Almost three weeks ago."

Roxas nodded. "Tell me... how did I...?"

Axel smirked. "I'm sort of hoping you'll remember that on your own."

* * *

**or within two weeks**


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary:** For Roxas Ars, waking up in a hospital after being in a week long coma is the least of his problems. It's the five months before the accident that start the trouble. Because the real trouble is not being able to remember them. Not why he's suddenly living in another city, how he got the job of his dreams, and just who does this guy think he is, anyway? His boyfriend? Yeah, right...

**Disclaimer:** I have not been off fighting for my right to own Kingdom Hearts and its plot/characters. I have been teaching Japanese to 5th graders.

_I was dreaming when I wrote this/ So sue me if I go too fast_

* * *

**Notes:** I know I've been late in updating this, but this next chapter was halting. I kept getting stuck on it and had to mull it over, then write longhand in my notebook before I could open up the file on my computer again. This chapter is roughly the same length as the last, too. Fair warning: the next chapter, if longer - and it's shaping out that way - will be the last.

Also, watch my LJ for extra stuff. Sometimes even whole scenes in advance. And possibly me attempting to sing the song Roxas wrote for Axel?

The flashbacks in this chapter are from Axel's POV.

* * *

"_This is my favorite part," I said, leaning over. I'd only seen the movie once before, but the hospital scene always stuck out in my memory. Maybe it was the background music, or maybe it was the image of the white carnations falling over the sheets when Art pulled Jenny into his arms._

_Roxas looked over at me quizzically. "Really?"_

_This was only the second time I'd been alone with him since I learned who he was. Demyx and I had been out to dinner and Space Paranoids at least three times already, and in that time I slowly felt myself drawn to him. His strong sense of independence, his lightly sarcastic humor, the way he stayed humble in spite of the mass media attention surrounding his golden career. There were parts of the day that felt empty and dragging, and I almost felt like those were times when I should have been with him. Being physically attracted to him was something different entirely. The first time I had him alone I was confused about why I felt like reaching out and touching him. I wanted to hold him. In the early evening twilight I wanted to kiss him. The urge was stronger than it had ever been for me._

"_My favorite part is at the end," he confessed, turning back to the screen. I watched the pale light flicker over his face and took a risk, stretching my arm across the back of the couch. Surprisingly, he leaned against me naturally, without turning to question me. _

_The last scene was a sunset over a beach. Art and Jenny stood watching it, and without preamble, Art said – and I think Roxas was silently mouthing the words along with the movie – "Sunsets are my favorite part of the day." Jenny turned away from the sunset to ask why, and he replied, "Because it's the end of the day, and no matter how good or bad that day was, we get to see the sunrise in the morning and know that we have the gift of a whole new sunset to look forward to. And all that time between the sunrise and sunset are for us to live. Make mistakes, learn from them. Fall in love, and be loved in return. That's all I want. Only sunsets. Hope for things to change with the sunrise. One thing will never change, though, and that's how much I will love you when I witness my last sunset."_

_Roxas smiled softly, and I leaned toward him._

"_Roxas."_

_He seemed to hesitate, but carefully met my eyes. I pulled him into a loose embrace with the arm he leaned his weight onto, brought my other hand up to his jaw and kissed him briefly, knowing that the two people on the screen were mirroring us. When I pulled away he looked slightly dazed, his fingers hooked in the knot of my tie._

"_You could have done that two weeks ago," he nearly groaned, resting his head on my shoulder._

* * *

"_Could you stay tonight?"_

_I pulled back a little too quickly at the question and was surprised at the instant disappointment in his eyes._

"_Roxas?"_

"_You leave too soon," he tried to explain._

_I nodded slowly. "If you want me to stay... I don't have anywhere to be until tomorrow afternoon."_

_He frowned a little. "I can... I can keep you here that long?" he asked._

_I wanted to laugh. He sounded like a little kid sometimes. "You can keep me here that long," I assured him. He bit his lip._

"_Do you want to stay?" he asked seriously._

_I leaned over and turned off the TV with the remote. "Yeah," I answered him without preamble. "I want to stay."_

"_Until tomorrow afternoon?" There was that innocence again. I wondered what he intended to do with me until then._

"_Until tomorrow afternoon," I replied, watching his expression soften._

_He leaned forward and tugged at my loosened tie, throwing the silk over one shoulder._

"_Roxas," I said carefully. "I won't make you do anything you're not ready for." He nodded, pulling me off of the couch with him._

"_Just... hold me," he managed._

_We checked that the doors were locked and then turned out all of the lights. I wrapped him up in my arms, the down comforter cushioning the weird angles of our bodies weaving against each other. _

_As I felt him slip away, I muttered into the pillow, the nape of his neck, "I love you, Roxas."_

_When I stirred awake the next morning, he was untangling himself from me, and I tightened my hold, feeling a surge of panic. We hadn't done anything, but he could have been feeling regret already._

"_Roxas."_

_He turned toward me, hair disheveled, his face unreadable in the dim light. "I don't think I can..." he started, shaking. "I want you, Axel. But I want it to be right."_

_I loosened my hold on him, completely floored by his confession. I though I'd be the first to give in. I couldn't understand how much he wanted to be folded up in my lanky embrace. I nodded, unable to speak. "I can wait, Roxas."_

_He gave me a grateful smile, leaned into me and let me caress the arch of his spine for a long moment before he pulled away, flustered. "I need a cold shower," he muttered, throwing his shirt off and leaving me for the bathroom. I didn't feel ashamed at all knowing that he was thinking of me when he touched himself, and I made my way to the kitchen to cook breakfast._

* * *

Roxas couldn't sleep. He'd stuffed the down comforter away in the closet and pulled out a quilt that his mother had made him. It was cold and thin and smelled like cotton and grape juice. He slipped a hand under his pillow and found his cell phone, scrolled through the contacts. Demyx would be awake at this hour, but he was the type who did more talking than listening. Pence would definitely be awake, but possibly unreachable. Earlier that day he'd agreed to come over later in the week to hack into the computer long enough for Roxas to reset the password. Hayner wouldn't be awake, and he was irritable when awoken by phone call. Sora and Riku were peacefully slumbering in front of the TV, and Roxas thought it best to leave them alone. Actually, if he was lucky, any day now he'd stumble in on them having shifted positions in their sleep.

But he needed to talk to someone.

His last session with Aerith was all about Axel, and she'd lightly suggested recreating memories with him if he was willing. According to Sora, Axel had sworn against any deep intimacy, but it still made Roxas anxious in ways that he didn't understand. He was going to continue with this new life, but Axel was a big part of it. And as much as he hated to admit it to himself, Roxas was inexplicably drawn to Axel. He thought of him constantly, looked forward to seeing him, and most worrying of all, felt great waves of disappointment when Axel was close enough to touch and didn't act on it. Roxas would find himself holding his breath, and Axel would walk away. It was confusing. And he couldn't sleep well without the scent of Axel's cologne on his sheets.

Throwing the quilt aside, Roxas scrolled to Axel's name and dialed, hoping that he wasn't imposing.

It rang three times, and just when Roxas thought he was going to have to leave a message – he was momentarily intrigued as to what Axel's voice would sound like, asking for a name and number, and wondered if he had a standard greeting or something more creative – the line sparked to life.

"Roxas?"

"Hey... did I wake you up?" he did his best to sound apologetic.

"Not at all. I was nearly falling asleep over these contracts, though. Something bothering you?"

"I went to see Aerith again today," he began, surprised, as always, how he never felt like dancing around a subject with Axel.

"The therapist," Axel clarified for himself, sounding more awake now. "Did she say something that bothered you?"

"Not really... I... I talked to her about you."

"Roxas," Axel's voice was even. "You don't have to feel guilty about not remembering me."

"I want to remember." Roxas glanced upward, catching a glimpse of himself in the closet door mirror. He meant it, and he felt relieved, having said it aloud.

"Roxas..." Axel's voice broke. "That means a lot to me, kid."

Roxas pouted, but decided to let it slip. "Aerith said that the best way to help me speed things up is if we... recreated memories."

There was a wide smirk in his words when Axel spoke next. "Tomorrow's Sunday. You want me to come over and watch _Only Sunsets _with you?"

Roxas looked over to the closet, where a corner of the down comforter was sticking out. "That would be a good start."

***

Are you sure you don't want me to stick around?"

"I'm sure. If we're going to recreate this, you can't be around."

Sora grinned. "Maybe you just really want to be alone with him."

Roxas elbowed him. "Maybe I'm trying to get you and Riku to spend some time together without having to worry about me."

He'd made them reservations at a small but well known French restaurant, Lumiere's, and maintained that even if Axel coming over was a bad idea, he would have at least made some progress where his brother and best friend were concerned.

"Riku's going back to the islands on Wednesday, Roxas, and I can't stay much longer. Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"I've got Hayner here, and Naminé, and I really really want to keep this job, Sora. You know it's my dream." Roxas sighed. "I don't know what's going to happen with Axel, but I won't let it ruin anything for me." Seeing the less than assured expression Sora gave him, he rolled his eyes. "And I'll call you to bring me home if anything bad happens. I swear."

Satisfied, Sora went off in search of Riku.

That obstacle out of the way, Roxas set about uncluttering his room. Pence was due soon to help him reset his password without destroying any new files that he may have created in the past five months. The accepting was getting easier, and he'd be allowed back on a board soon, but if there was any proof in the finer details of his lost memory, Roxas was sure he could find them with his computer.

"You had me upgrade the harddrive when you moved in here," Pence said when he arrived. "I kind of did you a favor. It would have crashed."

"It's not the newest computer," Roxas agreed. "I should probably get a new one, once I extract any important files.

Pence made a scoffing noise as he hacked in a coded sequence. "You could do that, but seriously. You're going to be surprised at how fast this thing's running. Once I get past the encryption, anyway."

Rows of numbers filled the screen and he set to work copying them and recoding them.

"Just a minute longer..." he muttered. He made two quick keystrokes and the screen bled blinding white before restarting. "I put in a dummy password when I upgraded it," he explained. "Kind of like a backup. Just enter _sea salt ice cream_ and that should work long enough for you to reset the password. The you'll need to shut it down for at least three hours for the new encryption to settle."

Roxas entered the dummy password and immediately went to the start menu. The other password was set within the account settings: 813XAR. The last two letters were strange. Could they be Roxas's initials? He decided to leave it at that.

Reluctantly shutting it down again before he had a chance to search for new files, Roxas steered Pence into the kitchen and offered him something to drink. The offer was declined, but sea salt ice cream suggested, and Roxas guessed that the dummy password hadn't been entirely because the treat was solely his favorite.

"I think you need me to tell you something, Roxas," Pence said thoughtfully as he finished his bowl. "I haven't known you for a long time, really, but you said something pretty important to me once. In fact," he grinned. "At the time you said to never mention it to you again, but I figure that there was an implied memory loss clause in there somewhere."

Roxas stirred the melted bits of ice cream with his spoon, dreading and hoping that it was about Axel. "Okay...?"

"The day I came over here to upgrade your harddrive, you were still feeling me out about Olette, but I told you pretty honestly that I was in love with her, and you sort of dropped it. But before I left you asked me how I knew."

Roxas let his spoon clatter in the bowl.

"How _did_ you know?"

* * *

"_I want to give you something."_

_The look on his face was priceless. I'd never seen him look so vulnerable. "Lay back," he instructed, voice trembling slightly. I raised an eyebrow in questioning, but fell back and relaxed. He shifted his weight, moving his knee between my legs and leaning forward. _

"_Roxas..." I half groaned._

"_Shut up," he murmured softly, still blushing as his fingers worked the knot of my tie. When it came loose he let slip a very satisfied chuckle and dropped it to the ground, leaned forward, and placed a very soft kiss to my neck, then loosened the top button of my shirt and kissed the exposed skin there._

_I wanted to simultaneously pull him closer and push him away, demand to know why he was suddenly being so intimate. Before I could do either he pulled back enough to tangle his fingers in my hair and kiss me soundly. _

_So this is what he'd meant by wanting to give me something. Roxas never initiated kisses. I was always the one to start, and if others followed they were completely mutual. But this. He'd surrendered his body to fully press against me, kissing me with the urgency he only had right before I left for work on Monday mornings. When my hands finally responded and wrapped around him, he pulled back the barest inch to breathe, diving in again with three words formed against my lips:_

"_I love you."_

_I relaxed, and when he pulled back again his face was flushed and he turned slightly away from my gaze. That was the first time he'd ever said that to me. _

"_Roxas. I love you. So much."_

_He nodded. "I know." He was smiling, and he locked his eyes onto mine. I could feel him shaking. "There's one other thing I want to give you."_

_I sat up a little, trailed my fingers over his forearms. What did I do to deserve this?_

"_I... wrote a song for you."_

_I favored him with a grin of piqued interest. Roxas had a beautiful voice, and honestly I'd been trying to catch him singing a snatch of something. It was the talent agent in me, I guess. "That's kind of romantic," I allowed. He blushed deeper but frowned at me._

"_Just listen, okay?"_

_I nodded._

_He took a deep breath and very slowly dragged out a first, quavering note laced with husk, humming from deep within his throat._

"_Burn me alive_

_with your words and your touch..._

_I never thought_

_I could love someone..._

_so much_

_Holding me tight_

_in the middle of the night_

_whisper and tell me_

_everything's gonna be_

_alright..._

_You are my fire..."_

* * *

Pence took a last spoonful and smiled his 'illegal is faster' smile before answering. "A lot of reasons. But mostly it was that when I wasn't with her I thought about her constantly. I thought about her right before I went to sleep and the thought of her was what got me to get up at the first ring of the alarm clock. On a much deeper level, I feel like... well, I can look at where I want to be in five or ten years and know that wherever that is, she's going to be there."

Roxas nodded. It wasn't _Only Sunsets_, but it was enough for Pence, and it was believable.

"And you know what you said to me?" Pence goaded.

"What did I say?" Roxas asked, cautious though he felt as though he knew already.

"You kind of looked like someone had slammed a door in your face, or opened one up for you. And you said, 'Pence, don't ever remind me I said this, but I think I'm in love'."

* * *

"You probably know all my favorite parts," Roxas challenged, setting the disc in the DVD player. It was surprisingly easy to look Axel in the face after Pence's admission. And he believed Pence. There was no way to explain how trusting the other boy was. Roxas was certain that that's why he'd been able to tell him about Axel in the first place.

"You know Art's sunset speech word for word," was Axel's reply. Roxas had insisted that he do his best to recreate their usual Sunday night, so he had come over right after work, tie loose, jacket cast off. He volunteered to cook pasta, but Roxas had already eaten. Axel's arm was stretched over the back of the couch and he sat as comfortably as if he were in his own living room. Roxas found the remotes and fell onto the cushions gratefully, leaning into Axel as much as he could without being uncomfortable.

"Roxas, you don't have to..."

"I want to, remember?"

Axel nodded, softly smirking before he turned to the screen.

It certainly felt familiar to be sitting in the faint glow of the movie with the hall light behind them, Axel shifting toward him so that the scent of his cologne fanned over. Sometimes he would tilt his head back and close his eyes, mouthing a line and smiling to himself. Roxas noticed how closely he watched during the hospital scene, and guessed that it was Axel's favorite part. When the white carnations cascaded over the sheets, his hand involuntarily fell to Roxas's shoulder.

"That's why you brought me carnations," he said lamely.

"It was a promise. You nearly broke your arm during a competition, and I told you that if you ever ended up in the hospital, even if it was just to have a bone reset or whatever, I'd bring you white carnations."

"Did I tell you off for being so unnecessarily romantic?" Roxas asked, amused.

"Yeah. But I reminded you that since your favorite movie was Only Sunsets you were a hopeless romantic anyway, so it wasn't unnecessary."

As always, Roxas felt his heart tighten when Jenny ran onto the beach where Art was waiting. So he was a romantic.

"Roxas," Axel began before Art remarked that sunsets were his favorite part of the day, "How would you feel if I kissed you?"

Roxas felt his heart tighten again and he concentrated on the image of the sunset onscreen. "I... don't know," he said, though he actually felt anxious for it to happen.

"Would you let me?" Axel asked. From the way he said it, Roxas knew he needed a straight answer. Onscreen, Jenny asked why sunsets were Art's favorite part of the day. He turned slightly toward Axel and nodded.

"...Yeah."

It was the first time Roxas had ever missed his favorite part. He watched it unfold, but Art's speech didn't reach him, he was so focused on what would happen at the end of the speech. He remembered, somehow. Maybe it was because they had done this every Sunday night. Memories of other kisses came back to him. Dimmed, but there.

Roxas felt time shudder to a halt when Axel's lips met his and his skin burned numb along his jaw where Axel's fingers alighted.

"Well?" Axel asked, concern shadowing half his face.

The screen went dark, uncomfortably beautiful music flooding out.

Roxas blinked. "...Nothing," he lied.

* * *

**Notes:** I had a hell of a time working out the time breaks in this one. I kept writing different flashbacks from Axel's memory, and when I got them all in I thought, "Hey, these should probably be chronological..."

There will be an interesting twist on the memory theme in the next chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary:** For Roxas Ars, waking up in a hospital after being in a week long coma is the least of his problems. It's the five months before the accident that start the trouble. Because the real trouble is not being able to remember them. Not why he's suddenly living in another city, how he got the job of his dreams, and just who does this guy think he is, anyway? His boyfriend? Yeah, right...

**Disclaimer:** I have not been off fighting for my right to own Kingdom Hearts and its plot/characters. I have been teaching Japanese to 5th graders.

_I was dreaming when I wrote this/ So sue me if I go too fast_

* * *

**Notes:** Alright, here it is. The last chapter. The twist here at the end was the second scene I thought of when I initially planned this thing out. I even considered making it into its own separate oneshot, but I'm glad I ended up keeping it until this chapter.

I am also running a special contest of sorts. A prize will be awarded to the 127th reviewer of this story, so leave your email address with the review to be considered!

* * *

"Why would you do that, Roxas? I don't get it."

Riku looked as though he wanted to punch me. I decided to beat him to it. "Don't go hypocritical on me, Riku. You haven't exactly been honest about your feelings, either."

He scowled at me, nursing the shoulder I'd hit.

"I kissed him, Roxas."

I blinked, not expecting this. "What?"

"Sora. When we were kids. Remember that night you ran away from home and we went looking for you? You were hiding in the secret place the whole time but Sora was convinced that you'd drowned. I... I was trying to comfort him, I guess. Get him to calm down." He shrugged. "I was almost fifteen and Sora was doing all these things that made me _feel_... You know how he seems to need to hug people and be close to them. It drove me crazy trying to figure out what I was feeling. I finally got it that night. I loved him so much in that instant. I kissed him. And when it was over I felt like I'd betrayed him. I felt like I'd _ruined_ him. He didn't even say anything, just stood there staring at me. So I ran. I ran to the dock and then he was there, behind me, with you. I didn't go back to the island after that, and he stopped going, eventually."

I made a move to punch him again, but withdrew and walked around him to pull out some leftover pasta, shoving it in the microwave.

"Okay. I get it. But you're an ass. That was years ago. You've never done anything to hurt Sora, or else he would have told me and I would have hurt _you_." I dug through the utensils drawer and found a fork, tapped it impatiently against my palm. "He loves you. I don't see how you can see that and just ignore it."

"Now _you're_ being hypocritical. We're both scared, Roxas," he insisted.

I shook my head. "What do you mean...?"

"I'm scared that if I tell Sora that I love him... that somewhere down the line I might hurt him. I'm scared that I might love him more than he loves me. I'm scared that if it ends, our friendship will end, too."

The microwave chimed and I pulled the container out, stirred the contents and closed my eyes, remembering. The alfredo sauce. Axel made me this pasta the day after I'd given him a spare key... there was a blank, but the smell was keeping the initial train of thought there.

"So what do you think _I'm_ afraid of?"

"You're afraid that even if you do remember – and I think whatever happened last night has triggered your memory into recovery – you're still not going to be the same person Axel met and fell in love with the first time around. You're afraid that you might end up loving him more than he does you."

I morosely poked at the pasta. "I started to remember some things," I admitted. "Before he even kissed me, I felt... déjà-vu, I guess. I knew he was going to wait until Art kissed Jenny in the movie. I know that he always does that. I remember the last time he made me this pasta. I... I think I remember him telling me that he loves me."

Satisfied, Riku leaned back in his chair. "But you told him you didn't feel anything."

"I felt..." I paused, trying to summon back the rush of burning on my skin.

"Your face explains it well enough," he remarked, smirking. "You look really happy underneath all the 'I'm scared I might screw this up'."

I cleaned out the container, thinking. "Promise me this: you'll make a move already. Tell Sora you love him. And I'll tell Axel what I really felt when he kissed me, once I can figure it out."

He considered for a long moment and then groaned. "Deal."

***

I remembered more now. It hadn't all come back to me at once, but every moment felt less uncomfortable, and when I was allowed back on a board the next day I took to it immediately and naturally. When practice was over some of the other guys who I remembered at least by face and personality congratulated me and asked if I thought I'd be able to compete at the next regional to defend my title. Hayner was waiting for me once I left the park, and as we walked and he rambled on about something Seifer had done to piss him off, I suddenly stopped and asked, "Hey, are you going to give me back my camera, or were you hoping that I'd never remember that?"

He blinked and laughed, grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me a little, demanding to know what else I remembered. I shrugged.

"Not much, man. But I know I lent my video camera to you. What for, I dunno... and I remember that next week my phone bill is due... and I think I remember us meeting Pence for the first time. He was helping Olette move a couch in, wasn't he?"

"Their 'favorite' couch, now," Hayner affirmed, smirking a split second before we pretended to gag. Olette was like a sister to us. Once the awkwardness passed we vowed to make sure the couch would be all Pence had left if he ever broke her heart.

"He loves her, though," I said, as though to assure us both. "He really does."

Hayner scoffed. "Love." He looked uncomfortable for a minute and spun his skateboard wheels while I dug through my pockets for the house key.

" 'Ayner?" I prompted, feeling like he was about to tell me something utterly scanny. I wasn't wrong.

"Well, you know how Seifer's really been pissing me off lately...?" he began weakly.

I grinned. "Serious?"

He looked taken aback that I didn't need an explanation and looked around almost bashfully before turning a hard glare on me. "_Dead_."

I wanted to laugh, but I knew how sensitive he was under the tough exterior. So I just opened the door and let him in, inviting him to drop hints and details over a game of _KeyBlade Hero II_.

The love story of Hayner and Seifer wasn't a conventional one, as anyone could have guessed. It was about fists and almost friendly insults. It was about the day no one stuck around to see who would win their latest struggle match and Seifer screwed the rules and knocked Hayner down. Painfully. It was about a staring contest and Hayner joking "Why don't you just kiss me, already?" only he wasn't really joking and thank Yevon Seifer didn't need to be _that_ smart to figure it out. It was about Hayner nailing him square in the gut when it was over and demanding that they have a rematch the next day because they had a score to keep, dammit.

"On second thought..." I said, when we were worn out of video games for one day, "Maybe I don't want my video camera back."

Hayner scoffed, but looked embarrassed, so I tackled him to help him get it out of his system.

About an hour after Hayner left, Sora showed up, looking like Destiny Islands in bloom.

"Riku says you 'promised', Roxas, whatever that means," he said when I pressed.

I groaned and fell back onto the couch, unable to fight the smile though my insides were quickly being knotted up by nerves. "That asshole," I muttered. "I wait years for him to hurry up about it, and just when I wouldn't mind him taking his time..."

Sora flopped onto the couch and landed a friendly punch to my shoulder. "Be happy for me?"

I laughed. "Of course I am. For both of you. I expect Riku to stop being so uptight, too. You two were so much happier before you stopped going to the island."

Another punch, to my stomach this time. We nearly fell off the couch wrestling and laughing.

"He had to go back home," Sora said softly. "But I'll be meeting him on the island tomorrow night." He looked as nervous as I felt.

* * *

"_Okay... so. Since this is a video journal I have no idea how to start. I don't think I'll let anyone watch these, either. I guess I can start out by saying why I'm doing this. Yesterday I signed a contract to skate pro with Organization XIII. It's pretty much a dream career. I'm lucky that my friends and family were supportive of it, but I'm living pretty much on my own now."_

_Roxas hit the pause button and exhaled. The video camera had been a gift from his new employers, and he figured that he'd use it to record his moves and revaluate them later. But the strange urge to document a sort of video journal came to him. He hit the record button again, made sure it was angled so that his face wasn't visible – he didn't mind handling cameras, but he had a weird thing about seeing his own face on film – and continued._

"_I guess if I get really good at what I do, someone might be interested in this for something. But I just feel the need to document this... I guess I'd call it a new phase in my life._

_Tomorrow everything starts. I get a training schedule and a board to compete on – Organization XIII has some of the best boards in the industry, but I can't get anything customized until I've been under contract a year or if I get a sponsor who signs me to a full endorsement. It sound more complicated than it is. Finally, some magazine wants to interview me. I'm not worried about it because I've been told what to expect and it's only a short one to usher me in._

_Here are some things I will never talk about in an interview: my love life, embarrassing childhood memories, political leanings. I've only been in love once for real, and I knew the guy all of ten minutes. I once asked my mom if my grandma was a boy or a girl and I never lived it down. My liberal and conservative tastes change from election to election anyway._

_Yeah._

_Another gift from Organization XIII was a Coliseum and about fifty video games. And Hayner's coming over."_

* * *

"_This is where it gets serious. I haven't made one of these in over a month, since I made the first one. Don't question my calendar math. I could be wrong. The thing is, I might have decided to blow this off after that, but something happened about an hour ago that made me realize I should keep this up, if only for myself. In fact, I'm going to hide these video files."_

_The video window showing Roxas's seated torso slowly filled with the detailed body of a custom made board. The belly of the deck was emblazoned with an intricate design of two keys wound in flames. The trucks were probably the strongest alloy, and the wheels spun like a dream._

"_This is what a custom board looks like. It's tailored to my tricks, and since the last video I made talks about why I can't have one for at least six months at the very least under contract, I think I should explain how I got this one. In case I forget."_

_Roxas's face suddenly dipped into view, eyes bright, the bridge of his nose and the apples of his cheeks flushed._

"_I don't want to forget, anyway."_

_The face disappeared._

"_I nearly got run over today. Just rolling around the street, leaving the skate park. There's been some hype about me, so I figured I'd get the street out of my mind before people start recognizing me. A limo turning the corner without looking as it was about to come down the hill. I bounced off or something. Lucky. My board went under the limo and got cut clean in half by a bread truck or something. I was mad, naturally. So I picked up the pieces and opened up the limo door, because whoever was in there was going to get an earful."_

_Here Roxas paused and brought up the new board again, spun a wheel._

"_No lie. Before I started chewing the guy out I got a pretty good look at him. He was... interesting. I think I carried on yelling just so I could absorb every detail of his appearance. I think I got in and demanded he buy me a new board just so I could keep looking. Not that I'm attracted to him. It's just... that weird maybe feeling you get right before you start fantasizing about someone. Like, innocent fantasies. _

_He's tall, built like a circus acrobat – all lankiness and hidden sinew – has the reddest hair I've ever seen, and it's like a mane. The eyes, though. I guess it's pretty close to jade green. They've got to be fake. He treated me like he'd probably treat any kid off the street but seemed really amused by whatever it was I was saying._

_This was the amazing thing. I went on autopilot and talked naturally without caring what I was saying. I only do that with my brother and sometimes Riku. Never Hayner. Hayner is a certain way and I sort of guard my words with a code we're comfortable with. Riku never really responds to it like it bothers him. But this guy... I wanted to keep talking to him. I felt like I was performing, but I was really just being more myself than I'd been in a while. It gave me a sort of high."_

_A long pause._

"_If I thought I was going to see him again..."_

* * *

The First Day without Sora or Riku around to hold my hand and prompt me when I start remembering something was strangely easy. I picked up a board from the hall closet, a beautiful one with solid chrome trucks and a key and flame design on the underside of the deck. The wood was ground down at the nose and the griptape was somewhat scratched, but as soon as I was on it I knew that it was my favorite one. It was the one I competed on. When I remembered, I almost felt bad for taking it out to the streets.

Hayner was at the park, as I thought he would be, Seifer standing some distance off. They were both trying to look as though they were disgusted to be within ten feet of each other. I laughed inwardly.

"Roxas! Someone's going to see you!" Hayner said before I could start teasing, pushing me into the public bathroom. "Don't you remember who you _are_?"

The realization of my mistake hit me immediately. I'd forgotten to wear a heavy jacket and a helmet and the non-prescription glasses.

"Oh... you came up with that disguise. I remember now."

"What good does that do us now?" he fired back. "Okay. So it's not that big of a deal, but your boss doesn't like you coming to public parks without letting your trainer know. I could be in big trouble if someone gets a picture of us and your manager thinks I talked you out here."

I peered around the stone wall that divided the bathroom from the water fountains, seeing Seifer approaching.

"We need a solution fast, General. Your boyfriend is heading this way, too."

Hayner groaned and punched me in the shoulder. "Wait a sec, Rambo." He leaned around the wall and made a few gestures that were apparently enough to assure Seifer that things were mostly under control.

"Okay. I'll just go to your place and get your disguise for you. Give me your key."

I started to search my pockets for it, then remembered something crucial. "Uh... if someone sees you, which is likely, since there's a doorman for all the penthouses in my building, it might be suspicious, especially since the only other person besides me who has a key is Axel. And I didn't set the alarm, either. So if you get caught with my key and the alarm doesn't even trip..."

"... we could be in an even worse situation."

He nodded. "Okay, so call Axel."

Tell Sora you love him, and I'll tell Axel what I really felt when he kissed me, once I can figure it out. "He's probably busy." I really didn't want to talk to him at all unless it was to talk about my feelings, and I'd been avoiding that all day.

Hayner smirked. "Yeah, right. Take a look."

I followed his finger through the cinderblock cartwheel and spied a tall figure in a black jacket and hood leaning against a chainlink fence across the street.

"Huh?"

"He knows you pretty well. Whenever you'd' get permission and an escort to come here he'd take his limo to within a block and walk the rest of the way, especially if you were both having a busy week. Never crossed the street, though."

I heaved a sigh. "Alright," I gave in, digging my phone out and scrolling through the contacts. Out of curiosity, I cued up Axel's information. Under a smallish picture of him wearing a loosened tie, sitting behind a desk were three other numbers besides the cell: work, desk, and home. Under that was a small blinking post-it that opened a memo reading "Axel owes me five minutes tomorrow morning." I banked that for later, not knowing what it meant, and dialed the cell. He picked up on the second ring.

"Hey... I don't want to bother you or anything, but I need a favor."

On the other end – and I knew without looking across the street how his eyes would dart to the left, following the upturn of his mouth – he grinned and half chuckled. "You're never a bother, Roxas. What do you need?"

I felt something drop from my lungs to my stomach.

"Roxas?" he prompted, sounding concerned.

"When... when did you last say that to me?" I asked, feeling the memory surfacing.

"I don't remember," he confessed, sounding less nonchalant.

"Well, it triggered something, so it must be something that's important to me but I didn't tell you..." next to me, Hayner rolled his eyes. I kicked him lightly in the shin. "I'll remember soon enough, anyway... tangent. I sort of left the house without thinking to call my trainer or my manager, and I'm at the park with Hayner."

"Give me ten minutes," he said without having to ask any other questions.

* * *

"_Okay. This is serious."_

_Roxas lowered his face slightly to get his expression in the frame before backing away. "I'm... Well, again. I didn't think I was going to make another one of these, and this will probably be the last one. I don't have enough time to explain everything that's happened since I first met Axel, understood that he's interested in me, and... he kissed me. That was weeks ago, though. I don't have time to explain everything he's done since he first kissed me to make me feel like this. I'm... I'm in love."_

_The chair swiveled for a moment, Roxas's hands in his lap fidgeting. _

"_Okay. So now I have to tell him. I mean... he tells me every day at least twice, and more than that if he can get away with that, and he never looks disappointed when I don't say it back. But this is the first time I'm going to say it to him. I need the setup to be sort of... special."_

_Roxas's head dropped into his hands. He groaned._

"_I'm gonna go to his office in about an hour, take him lunch. And when he comes over tonight... I'll tell him then."_

_Another long moment of chair swiveling. "I wrote him a song." Tentatively, he began to hum, then cut himself off._

"_I need to sing it now to make sure I've got it right, anyway." He scooted the chair back and turned to the side so that most of his profile was captured in the frame, and began to hum again, huskily and softly, dragging out the first word, but not painfully. When he was finished, he reached over and shut off the camera, leaned back in his chair._

_***__  
_

"_Uh... hey, Larxene. Is Axel in his office?"_

_The tall blonde lady at the secretary's desk turned away from the computer. I'd only seen her a couple of times and never talked to her, so I didn't know what to expect from such a polished, intimidating person. She gave me a haughty once-over and made to pick up the phone. _

"_I wanted to surprise him with lunch," I interjected. She smiled, a little cattily._

"_Oh?" she leaned forward on her elbows. "That's sweet of you. Go on in. He's rewriting some contracts and could probably use a break."_

_Inwardly, I relaxed. Outwardly, I still felt like a cornered mouse. "Thanks, Larxene," I added hastily and took the short hallway, hesitating half a second before I opened the door. Axel jerked backward a little, a thick binding of paper in his hands. "Larxene, I don't want – " he began, sounding as though this was an automatic response to the door opening unexpectedly. _

_He smiled. "Ah. Drastic measures." At my confused look, he explained. "She tries to get me to stop my work and get something to eat, but it's Sunday. I want to be finished early so I can be with you."_

"_And I've brought you lunch."_

"_I guess I could take a fifteen minute break, then. Are you staying?"_

_I glanced around furtively. "Just a minute, really. I needed to ask you a favor." His eyes darted to the left, following the upturn of his mouth._

"_What do you need?"_

_I pushed a few papers into a neat pile and sat on the edge of his desk, reaching out to hook my fingers in the knot of his tie. I was stuck a little speechless by how much I wanted from him, not just the simple thing I was going to ask._

"_Roxas?"_

"_First, loosen this." Ignoring his mutterings of a tie fetish, I went on. "Then... take your time with this, okay? I want you to finish so that I can keep you longer tomorrow morning."_

* * *

With a whole afternoon of skating behind me, I felt better about confronting Axel. There were still little things bothering me, like how long he would really be willing to wait, all over again, for me to be able to tell him I loved him. If I could. Hayner caught up to me at home after a car came and picked me up. I guessed that he'd walked with Seifer, but didn't ask. I'd probably robbed them of the few hours they could have spend pretending to hate each other for the whole park to witness.

"But you're going to tell him that you definitely feel something for him?" he asked.

"That's the plan. I just hope I don't disappoint him for those feelings not being so strong. Or worse, get his hopes up too high."

Hayner poked wearily at a video game controller. "That sucks, man." He wasn't exactly an eloquent person, but I know he got the impact of what I was feeling.

"Hey... did you find anything on your computer that could help you trigger the remaining memories?" he asked suddenly.

I sat up. "Oh... right. Pence went and rebooted it for me since I forgot the password, but I haven't had a chance to fire it up again."

He leafed through my pile of video games, holding up a copy of _Reverse Rebirth_. "While you do that, mind if I borrow this?"

***

I entered the password I had reset earlier and tried to decide between checking email and going through my personal files. The email inbox was probably swamped, so that was out. I found a few of my trick diagrams scanned into a program that averaged out the statistics of every possible measurement from the force of my launch to the angle of my board to the pipe and would have wasted the whole night on it if I didn't know there were other things to be looked at.

There was a whole file of pictures of Hayner and I at the first competition where I must have gotten the attention of an Organization XIII scout, there was a file of old pictures of Sora and me on the beach, a whole file of picture of the indoor park where I trained, and a last folder full of different shots of Demyx, Pence and Olette, Yuna, and Axel. There weren't an overwhelming number of pictures of him, but they seemed more deliberate than others.

Axel cooking.

Axel in his office.

Axel looking out the window of his limo.

All of them were tagged with a red symbol like a chakram. When I hovered the mouse over it unintentionally, it acted like a link, so I followed it. Two things came up, a document small enough to make me curious, and two separate video files.

* * *

"Roxas? Are you feeling alright? Maybe Sora should be here instead of me... or Hayner."

I shook my head. "I'm feeling alright."

"You sure? I can cook something. You look kind of pale."

"I need to tell you something. We... we need to talk." By the way he tensed I knew I'd said the wrong thing.

"I think I know what you're going to say," he began, not meeting my eyes.

"I remember the first time you kissed me," I said, effectively cutting across his speech. "I remember how we met, and I remember that we... that we were going to let the media find out about us when you came back from Demyx's first tour."

Axel just stared.

"I lied... the other night. When I said I felt nothing. I _did_ feel something, and I wanted to tell you today. I didn't think that before you came I'd find something to trigger it all back."

"What do you mean?" It was hard to tell if he believed me.

"The first time you kissed me, you..." I took his hand and guided it to the side of my face. I felt the burn of his fingertips brushing against my jaw. "And later when I wanted to describe it... it's like I was being burned alive."

He pulled back as if stung, but the familiar smirk was tugging at his mouth. I took a deep breath and slowly found the rhythm of the humming in my throat and let it form a verse.

When I finished, he pulled me close, the smell of him making my heart stop.

"Could you stay tonight?" I asked, holding my breath once the question was out. I felt him tense up, and then relax.

"Need me to hold you?"

I nodded, burrowing against his chest.

We put on _Only Sunsets_ out of habit, but I spent more of it than normal just looking up at his face. When the end came, I kissed back with fervor, running a hand through his hair and tightening in the heavy strands at the back of his head, remembering that he liked that.

***

Sleep came too easily and too quickly.

"Axel... aren't you supposed to be cooking me breakfast?"

I felt him shift beside me, and his arm tightened around my shoulders, a voice breathing above my forehead, "We'll go out and get breakfast today. Or lunch. Whenever we decide to get up."

I relaxed, moving my legs around to untangle the sheets.

"Axel... I remember."

He chuckled against my hair. "I know. You've been telling me since last night."

I found his arm and twisted it enough to make him shift back and look at me. "Aren't you happy? You tried really hard to get me back."

He pulled me back to him, touched his lips to my temple. "Of course I'm happy. I haven't held you like this in nearly two months."

"I'm not going to forget again."

"I know."

The curtain was half drawn, and within a moment I could see the outline of his torso more clearly.

"Axel..."

He shifted until he was leaning over me, hearing the difference in my voice.

"What is it?"

I reached up and knotted my hand in the fabric of his undershirt, pulling it up along his spine. "Take this off?"

He raised an eyebrow, but held my gaze until I didn't falter and sat up, discarding it.

"I've never seen you without your shirt on. Always wanted to."

"Really..."

I touched a dark jagged scar under his collarbone. "Tell me about this one. I need more things to remember you by."

"I got in a fight while Demyx was on tour. Fans mobbing. I'm not a bodyguard or anything, but I got pushed around a bit and at some point we were being held back from our car by an improvised chainlink fence. I got thrown against it. Stabbed me."

Tentatively, I pressed a kiss to it.

He had more little scars, a few that were barely visible. I asked about them all.

"What about this one?"

I trailed my finger along it, as it ran just above his hipbone, ending where his pelvic crease softened. I felt heat stir between my legs. The scar was faint, but it was the biggest.

"That one..." he said quietly, cautiously lifting my leg to drape it around his, "That one is special."

Bravely, I tightened round him, leaned in, my mouth open against his neck. His back arched slightly. "_Roxas_."

"Tell me why it's special?"

"I... I saved a kid's life... once," he faltered. "I was... I think I was twelve. There was a kid, skating around the trolley tracks. He got stuck. The trolley was coming. He was maybe six years old. I pulled him out in time, grabbed the front rail and swung out of the way and into a scrap metal cache before I got squashed as it went through the tunnel."

I slowed my ministrations, shifting back comfortably enough to look at him.

"Seriously?"

He smiled softly. "Kid even wanted my picture. For saving his life. When he saw that I was bleeding, he nearly had a panic attack."

"And then he took you to a nurse. She stitched you up and gave the two of you a sea salt ice cream," I finished.

Axel leaned up on one elbow, mystified. "I never told you this story."

I sat up, too, feeling the numb fire spreading over my arms.

"Axel..." I started, then reached over him for a small shoebox on the shelf bridging my headboard and my dresser. It didn't take long for me to find the small Polaroid shot underneath a few movie ticket stubs and some seashells. A fleshy pale blur took up the right bottom corner, and the line was distorted, but a figure in a green T shirt with a leftward smirk and a head of vibrant red hair that leaked up into the top left corner of the picture was clear enough.

***

"I can't believe I forgot."

* * *

**Notes:** Thank God that's over. Chapter was a monster to write. That last scene and the very first scene of this entire fic were what I first thought of when I had this idea, so everything in between had to come from somewhere. That's what usually happens when I have these big ideas.

Anyway. This is the last fic I'll be posting on FFnet, possibly ever. All my other stuff will be posted to my writing LJ from now on. In light of that, I'm holding a contest. The 127th reviewer who leaves me their email address with the review will be contacted by me for the opportunity to win a special prize: the composition book where I've been handwriting a lot of random scenes both published and not. If you are the 127th reviewer and cannot accept the prize, then it will go to the 128th reviewer and so on.


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